Deandra

Parker

Welcome to a sex workers Guide to the Galaxy, where the answer to life, the universe and everything is sex workers. I'm your host, Parker Westwood. And today, we get to talk with Deandra who is a sex worker based here in Detroit and she's using a pseudonym. So, her name is not actually Deandra, and there will be no links for her information, website, and all of that in the show notes. So, Deandra and I talked before we did this episode, and we decided to do a pseudonym so that we could talk about being HIV positive, which is something in the sex work community, and in the greater community that is not easy to talk about. So, we address that, the stigma and all of it within the episode, but I thought I would just let you know why I'm not linking anything to Deandra. It's not because I don't like her. It's because we are keeping her identity safe for the purposes of this conversation. I knew at some point in the lifetime of this podcast, that we would be talking about a topic sensitive enough that people wouldn't want to use their work name, and definitely not their real name, and so a pseudonym is just an important way to keep people safe. And in this case, we're keeping Deandra safe. So, we do talk about being HIV positive, we also get to talk about drag, and the manufactured scarcity in our society, and how financial insecurity plays into being a sex worker, and the fuck it attitude that it takes to kind of break free from that. There's a lot in here. There are a few trigger warnings for this episode, we talk about dead bodies in a graphic sort of way at some point. Don't worry, we're just talking about mortuary sciences for some reason, but that does come up. Oh, there are also stories about being misgendered as Deandra is trans and she shares some experiences about being misgendered in detail. So just know that that's in the episode and I think I think that's largely it, feel free to email me and let me know if it's not. I like to make sure that I am putting proper trigger warnings on these episodes. The email for the podcast is sexygalaxypod@gmail.com. Other ways you can get in touch, interact and support the podcast are on Twitter at sexy galaxy pod. We do not have an Instagram as of yet, but we are on Patreon at patreon.com/sexy galaxy pod. We're starting to create some patron only content and it's been really fun. I'm so grateful for everyone who is supporting in whatever way that they can, and if you are unable to support, I totally get it. I'm just glad you're listening. Okay, without further ado, let's get to Deandra. All right, Deandra, thank you so much for joining me today.

Deandra

Oh, thank you. I'm happy to be here in my own house looking at you.

Parker

I know, it's so good to see your face.

Deandra

For the audience that doesn't know I'm fucking stunning.

Parker

Absolutely yes. Let's be clear about one thing.

Deandra

Let's be absolutely crystal.

Parker

Okay, why don't you take a moment to introduce yourself, name, name, pronouns, where you're located, and what kind of work you do.

Deandra

Alright, well, I'm just so everybody knows I'm going under a pseudonym for this interview. It's Deandra for security purposes but that's you know, if you if you're out there and you figure out who I am I don't really give a fuck, that's fine. But anyways, Deandra, she/her, I'm 30 years old, I am based in Detroit, but I do travel quite a bit. Especially you know, when the world isn't ending due to viral plague. Yeah, and well, I do, I do online sex work. I do phone sex work. I do full-service sex work. Yeah, I'm basically either showing a dick, looking at a dick, sucking a dick. All the avenues by which me and dick can meet digitally and physically to get the cash monies is what I do.

Parker

That's a beautiful way to put that.

Deandra

Yeah, yeah. You know, there's always, there's always another dick.

Parker

There's always another dick. So, how did you get started in sex work? What's your origin story?

Deandra

Well, okay, I left home very, very early in my life, I left home at age 15. And I would say 16 is when I started doing sex, I just, you know, I knew that there was older men that found me attractive, and they would give me things I needed to survive. And then I didn't really realize that that was sex work. Cause I was I was, you know, a kid, and then, you know, as I got older, I got, I mean, I still went to like, it's not a sob story, like I, you know, I went to college and stuff, and I didn't leave my home, my house in my childhood house in an acrimonious way. There just was, there was way too many people in my fucking house, it was miserable. I loved my mom and, you know, my stepdad, and my siblings are cool in like, small doses, but I was just ready to be out of there. You know, especially I guess, around 15, I had, like, three friends die right in a row, and all of them died in front of me at different like, it just happened very quickly and nobody in the house really had time to, like, help me through that or deal with it. And it was very. You know? So, I just left and like, it took my mom three days to notice. That's how many fucking people were in our house. She's like, where have you been? I'm like, I moved. She's like, I understand. It's fine.

Parker

Wow.

Deandra

She's like, uh, you know, so she's like, well, your sister's, she'll pay for your track phone to keep it on, so we can always know where you are. She's like, and I need to know where you are at all times. I'm like, okay, that's, you know, that's chill. That's chill enough as, um.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

Yeah, so that was my origin story and then when I got into hair school, I was working full time and going to hair school full time. And, you know, it was just a way to like, it was just something on the side for money that I wasn't really, you know, like, professionally doing it was mostly, mostly getting you know, hookups off like paying hookups off like Adam for Adams, that's how long ago it was, fuckin Grindr didn't even exist yet.

Parker

Wow.

Deandra

Yeah. And, and then I think around 22, I just actually started putting up ads and doing it as, as basically my full-time side gig because I always, I usually always have like a civ [civilian] job. But for the last five years, I have not I've been strictly sex working full time. So.

Parker

Yeah, when you put up ads, was it sort of an internal reckoning of like, oh, this is what I'm doing? Like I am an escort? Or did, were you pretty much aware of that at that point?

Deandra

Oh, I knew I knew what I was.

Parker

Okay.

Deandra

back in time, you know, like,: 2008

Parker

Oh, that's so wild. where were you living when you when you did that film?

Deandra

Nashville.

Parker

Okay.

Deandra

Yeah, I've been bouncing around the South, I'm kind of back in the north only very in like the last year or so. So even though I, people say Michigan is the Midwest, but I'm like, fuckin Detroit is the Rust Belt city. It is the northeast, you know, it's if it was fucking Kalamazoo. I would say that,

Parker

Right.

Deandra

Is you know, Midwestern.

Parker

Yeah, it does have some Midwestern attributes for sure. But yeah, it is a rust belt city. What? Let's do a day in the life of.

Deandra

A day in the life.

Parker

A day in the life of Deandra. What is a?

Deandra

A day in the life of Deandra. Um I wake up, and bare breasted nips feed me grapes off a silver platter.

Parker

Deandra can be whoever the fuck we want her to be.

Deandra

Right, right, right. I mean, I don't know like you know, I, my life is very simple. I wake up around seven every morning I let my dog out, feed him, open the curtains in my dining room, and my in my front living room here, and just to let all the light in, and you know, whatever. And I have lots of plants growing so I have to open the curtains because I hate blinds, I just, I have such an aversion to blinds. I think they're the fucking ugliest thing that you can put on a window. Why? Like why when you can have age brocade lace? And instead, you just want this like shit plastic slat that's gonna break as they always do. So yeah, I don't know I, if you like blinds out there. Fucking why? So I do that check, you know, water my plants and then usually go back to bed for a bit because I'm a late night girl, I'm up till like four or five, I just, I've always been that way. I don't know, it's like, the sun goes down and all sudden, I'm fucking up and I'm ready to go. And if I go back to sleep for a little bit, maybe till like 10 or 11 and then I wake up again, I make hot tea. I don't drink coffee anymore. So, I just make hot like English breakfast tea, and I drink that and like put on Star Trek and just like go through my phone. And make you know, either because I tend to take, I do like probably two, you know, home shoots a week, in terms of like just photos, you know, sexy photos, lingerie mmm, for OnlyFans and Twitter and I always like take a bunch of them and I just post like two at a time. So, I have like, you know, a week's worth. So, I'll do that and then switch on my Eros available button and my Tryst available button. Not because I don't ever book right now, but you know that at least we'll get them. Like knowing that I'm paying attention to my phone to book. So,

Parker

Yeah, just visibility for sure.

Deandra

Yeah. And then I make a spirulina shake with lots of fruits and avocados and spinach and drink that down, have like two hard boiled eggs with it, because right now I've been really working on toning my body and getting rid of this little like hormone pooch that I got going here. You know?

Parker

It happens.

Deandra

It is but you know, I, all the effects of the hormones are great. I mean, like my fucking tits are, you know, they're big like for hormone titties. Um, which by the way, for all of you out there, I am a transexual. I didn't know if you knew. It's pertinent information, Deandra is a tranny. And I can say that because I am a tranny. So, fuck y'all liberals, if you try to come from me on that, I can say what the fuck I want about myself. Okay? Rule number one. Um, alright, so that's, that's like the morning and then you know, I'll usually pick a project around the house because as you know, I'm remodeling a home that I bought. And, you know, it's, right now the big project is tearing out all the old lath and plaster, which is basically like moving hundreds of pounds of rock from inside the house, it fucking sucks.

Parker

Yeah, yeah.

Deandra

It's a lot of work. But so far, I'm doing that I'm also planning you know, just what I want to do with the house, step by step, stuff like that. That's what I do in any given day. If I have an appointment that day, then I don't work on the house, I don't want dust everywhere or whatever. If I have an appointment that day, then I'll clean after I've had my breakfast, I'll just clean the house run the vacuum, you know, I mean, it's, it's obviously like a worksite in here. So, it's not too clean, but it's just enough to where if they walk in, they're like, oh, this person isn't gonna, like murder me and shove me into their wall. If they behave.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

And, you know, then I'll get ready and get pretty and you know, try to pick out some kind of schmoozey lingerie that I probably don't even really like, but I know they'll like and, you know, once they once they come over, you know, I usually have, I don't work as much as I, as I could. So, I do probably three to four appointments a week, and I always have like, I always have a cocktail before they get there. Because we just need a little. You know?

Parker

Puts you in the mood.

Deandra

A little. Right? Especially if they're new because I don't know I was like, I also like, I mean it's so funny I work as, I, my clients are vastly majority are males or men, or male identified people and in my private life, I could not be more of a fuckin just dyke like I love fems, I love queers. I really am not attracted to male identified people very much very often. I will say though, the exception to that is probably trans men, but I don't know if that's just like a hormonal thing. Where it's like, I can just smell that fucking testosterone and I'm like, hey.

Parker

Hey.

Deandra

You're really cute, stop it with your fucking pheromones. That's like the exception. I'm definitely more trans amorous, like I tend to be romantically and physically attracted to other trans people mostly. So, you know, I love when guys hit me up and be like, oh, you know, I'm gonna wife you and I'm like, no you're fucking not but if that's what gets you through, if that's part of your fantasy, yes, I will be. Deandra will be your bride.

Parker

You can try. Yes.

Deandra

Just as long as, just as long as you leave when the session is over, and I don't actually have a ring in my possession and if I do, I'm gonna hawk it.

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

I've had clients give me nice things like that, like I had a client give me a diamond tennis bracelet from his, his mother died and left him all this jewelry. So, he gave me a diamond tennis bracelet and I was like, I'm gonna be honest with you. This is overly generous. I'm not exactly comfortable taking it, and I'm never gonna wear it and I ended up giving it away anyways. I'm not going to sell it. I don't want to sell it. I don't want to do that, it was given to me as a gift and usually when it comes to things like that, that are gifts, I don't like to resell them. Unless they're really worth, you know, a lot of money. 400 bucks, I was like, that's fucking a blowjob. Like, I'm fine. Take it, you know, I just, I'm not really, I'm not really a very wealth or money accumulation, like focused human being as it is. So. Yeah.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

Which is weird, but.

Parker

That's not that weird. One thing I've noticed about you is you tend to be very generous.

Deandra

Yeah.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

I tend to, I tend to re-, redistribute wealth, even though I have like, less than almost anybody I know. But, like, at any one time, I don't have a lot of money. But um, you know, I just think it's part partly the responsibility of all, all white people, but specifically white sex workers to, you know, try to redistribute the resources a bit. You know?

Parker

Absolutely.

Deandra

To more marginalized people and some people, I guess, would say, oh, you know, you're already trans, you are a marginalized person. I'm like, yeah, but I kind of kind of skating in on my whiteness, like, it's still something that affords me a lot of privilege and, and, and safety and things that, you know, other, other trans sex workers of color don't really have. So, I like to give when I can, what I can, you know, and I probably redistribute about 20% or more overall of all the money that I, that I take in from the world. So.

Parker

Yeah, yeah. And I think that's a good, that's a good way to live. It's, it's because our, our whiteness provides us with such privilege, and like, being able bodied, and all these other things. Right? So it's, it's.

Deandra

Yeah.

Parker

Nice to keep that in mind and, and do our part and I do know that you live doing your part. So, I did want to ask you, for all of our listeners, why are you using a pseudonym today?

Deandra

Oh, I'm using a pseudonym, because I am HIV positive. And unfortunately, in our industry, and just in general public knowledge, you know, people hear that and it’s still got such a nasty stigma around and I'm like, I'm undetectable. Like you're probably safer with me than you are some rando on the street. I, you know, I'm medicated. I get tested monthly, just per my line of work. I get tested monthly, because. You know?

Parker

Got to. Yeah.

Deandra

Yeah. Because I mean, you know, I, I'm always protected and stuff and safe in sex work, but in my private life girl, I get down and nasty with the best of them, and I don't really care. Like what anyone thinks about that, you know, some people said, oh, it's very socially irresponsible of you to have unprotected sex with somebody when you're positive. And I'm like, if I'm disclosing that with my partners, that's our decision, you don't really actually get an opinion on what two people decide to do with their autonomy, especially if we understand the science of it.

Parker

Right.

Deandra

Like you think, you think you getting raw dogged just because you're negative, or not HIV positive, is somehow, any, any more morally or, or socially? No, like, it's an irresponsible act, but that's okay. You're allowed to have the sex that you want with the consent of your partners.

Parker

Mm hmm. Absolutely.

Deandra

So.

Parker

And that's, I think there's a lot that people don't understand about the science around HIV, HIV.

Deandra

Yeah.

Parker

Especially, things have advanced so far from our, like, HIV panic, and like, the actual epidemic of it in the 80s.

Deandra

Well, I mean, the, the current, the current new treatments for COVID are actually derived in base from HIV medications, you know, and it's like.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

And it's kicking COVIDs ass, like, you know, it's like, it's really saving people's lives. And I'm like, that's awesome. So now, maybe people can kind of transpose or understand that, you know, but I mean, I've been on antiretroviral since I was first diagnosed, and I'm pretty sure that's what kept me safe from COVID.

Parker

Oh, yeah, that.

Deandra

Because I'm already I'm already like, it’s like, you know, almost everybody I know who is either pause or on PREP full time. Like nobody, nobody that I know got sick with it that was already actively taking antiretroviral, antiretrovirals. So.

Parker

Oh wow.

Deandra

It's like you are definitely way safer with me and I'm fully vaccinated.

Parker

Yeah. We got the vax.

Deandra

The vax.

Parker

Wait we talked about doing this episode before, and you wanted to talk about being HIV positive, which is why we have this pseudonym.

Deandra

Yeah. That's why we have the pseudonym, Deandra.

Parker

Deandra, I love.

Deandra

Deandra.

Parker

We came up with that. You came up with that, like the moment we started this episode, so I love.

Deandra

Well, it's from, I don't know if you've ever seen the YouTube show the most popular girls in high school?

Parker

No.

Deandra

but if you, if you haven't, look it up. It is the most hysterical fucking stop motion like it's, it's a, it's a riot and Deandra's one of the characters. She's like I'm Deandra, I'm new. Such a Deandra what the fuck do you want? I want to poop here, as much as I want, for as long as I want.

Parker

Oh my god, I love it.

Deandra

It's fucking stupid. It's hilarious.

Parker

I'm looking it up, and I'm linking it in the show notes.

Deandra

Yeah, it's, it's great.

Parker

Um, but why don't you tell us a little bit of like, what sort of stigma you've experienced being HIV positive, both in and out of the industry, just so people have an understanding.

Deandra

I'm in the industry, I actually shot with Grooby I did my first solo shoot with them, and they were really interested in, you know, keeping me on as a model, and having me do partner shoots or whatever. And then, you know, when I when I got that paperwork, it explicitly said, you know, that you cannot be HIV positive and I'm like, well, that's fucking bullshit. And I contacted the owner of the company, and I was like, look, you know, if, if a, if a scene partner chooses, and most sex workers, and people in porn know, the fucking tea, you know, so they're like, they get it. They're like, nah, it's fine. It's not even, it's not even a problem, you know, don't even worry about it and he was like, yeah, I don't know, I'd have to talk to my lawyer team about it and then he just never got back to me. So, you know, I've pretty much been blocked out of studio porn, which sucks because I'm, you know, I'm, I think I'm very attractive in terms of, I've seen some of the people in porn, I'm just saying, like, you know, I ain't the best, but shit girl, I can, I can run circles around some of these bitches. And, you know, I got a big old dick, so that I'm keeping, I love it. No problems with that. So, you know, that has been a block getting into that industry but it's something that's slowly opening up a lot more. So now I just, I just produce my own partnered scenes with people and so that's good. I've definitely had like clients find out about my status, you know, somehow, and, you know, or, or I let it out from under my hat, and they get a little nervous. And then I just send them, you know, some, like, some articles on, on the facts and they're like, oh, it's and, and I mean, not all most the ones that have found out have been like, I know, the I know, the signs. I'm not worried, like, literally not worried and I think that's, that speaks to who I am as a provider, you know, I tend to create very long-term clients.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

Per my personality and per my service. You know, it's like, I'm not just a blowjob machine.

Parker

Yeah. Well, and you're incredibly charismatic and easy to talk to. So, I only imagine that you'd have long-term clients.

Deandra

Oh, yeah but I get them disarmed immediately. You know, I'm like, soon as they get in, I'm like, I'm like, don't worry, you know, I'm like, well, I mean, my dicks about to be in your mouth. So really, we should just, like, chill out and be cool. You know, it's not gonna be a nerve-wracking thing, because that just makes it awkward.

Parker

Yes. Oh, absolutely. For our listeners who don't know the science, would you go into this? Like, what are the risks involved for someone?

Deandra

okay, it is, it is by the, World Health Organization and the CDC have released statements saying that if you are HIV positive, undetectable, which means that your viral load is so low in your body, that it can't even be tested by blood tests, antibody tests, and nothing, it's basically inert. And it is they've said they have come out with a statement saying it is literally impossible to pass it on, not there's a small chance there's always a chance, it's literally impossible to pass it on. If you're undetectable. I am undetectable and because, you know, people like me tend to, who are, who are HIV positive tend to really, you know, keep an eye on our health. Um, you know, we, I think that in the long run, we make better partners because we're very in touch with, with consent and, you know, and, and understanding, you know, different situations with people and comfort and discomfort and like, you know, we just tend to be very understanding lovers because we've had to be, because we've been traumatized by the medical system and by people who don't understand the science, you know, treating me like. I had, I had a guy on Grindr message me recently and he's like, word around the campfire is your pos and I'm like. And? It's not a fucking secret. Like, especially on the hookup app, I'm not, I'm not working off of Grindr. That is strictly a pleasure app for me and it's not even that good. So, I'm like, like, he said that like he's word around the campfire and like, it's not a fucking secret. So, what do you, what do you think? You know, you think you're calling me out on something? I don't fucking think so you don't treat people like that. That's shitty.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

And mean. Meanwhile, sir, you know, you've probably got fucking H, you probably got HPV and fucking herpes. Like, because one in three people fucking has that, you're out there fucking, you're out there fucking people you don't even know, you don't know their history. So, you know, don't, don't do that. Don't be that girl.

Parker

Yeah, yeah. STIs are so common. Especially. Especially.

Deandra

And they're trivial.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

Like, I don't understand why people are so afraid. Like, you know, I this this little, little, little, little trans girl. She's like, 20 and, you know, she's like, I tend to be like, I like to refer to myself as an owl. An old wise lesbian.

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

You know, and I sit on the eggs, and I hatch the eggs. You know? Keep them warm, protect the kids. You know? That's, I'm very maternal in the way that I care for people. So um, anyways, a little, little, friend of mine. She's kind of like, you know, she's like, my baby, tran, little friend and she, she's 20 and she's like, oh, god, I got gonorrhea and I just I just feel like absolute shit about myself. I'm like, girl, it's a shot and two pills. Like don't even worry about it. Well, what does that say about me? I'm like, it says that you're literally like everyone else.

Parker

Yep.

Deandra

That it says that your body is susceptible to bacterial infection and that's all it says. You know?

Parker

Yeah, there's so much shame we put on contracting an STI like, it's like, it says something about your character, and it doesn't.

Deandra

Like staying virginal or whatever. Like, you know, it really comes right down to being rooted directly to misogyny and the standards that are placed on, on, everyone but largely, especially women.

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

You know, and trans people are kind of already seen as like a you know, a dirty secret, as it is so I can understand why she felt that way. But I was like, girl literally tell someone you had gonorrhea, they're not gonna give a fuck. They're gonna be like, do you still have it? Cool?

Parker

Exactly.

Deandra

Like, as long as it, as long as it's good? As long as you're good? Like the girl they're still gonna fuck you, like they're still gonna, because that, if that's on the table. It's gonna happen. Which by the way, just so the listeners know it. She's 20, I do not sleep with her. I do not sleep with anyone under 25, it is just a personal rule. Mostly because young people are stupid. I was one and I know and I just, there's just way too much baggage and bullshit that comes along with that, that I don't feel like dealing with and I mean it there's baggage in every age group but I'd rather date older. But then again, I don't really date. My ex was my first partnership relationship in half a decade and that fucking went down in flames. So.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

Kind of, kind of shot that dating horse right in the face for me. It was just over.

Parker

Yeah, I just started dating and it's been four years so I'm right there with you. Yeah, it takes some time to find.

Deandra

I consider myself, I consider myself my primary partner anyways, so it's like I'm already in a rut like there's already so much going on here between me and my eight personalities that adding another human into that is not really. You know?

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

Oh, go ahead god.

Parker

I'm just gonna say that's how it should be like, you should be your primary partner. Yeah, and look how lucky you are. Oh my god.

Deandra

I. Right? Thank you. I also, I, speaking of the whole personality’s thing, I understand why some workers and providers completely have a, have a you know, fake persona for their, for their work life. It is so irritating to me, and I don't really understand I understand why people do it, but I don't understand why. It's so irritating to me but it is like if I'm doing a duo or a double with a friend and all of a sudden, they just changed and I'm like, you should just see my face. Like when they, [affected voice] oh hi, I'm just like bitch that is not how you talk, like that is not how you talk. Oh, fuck you. Fuck you. Because this is, I mean this is me, like with my clients. I just, I don't change my voice. I think that's absolutely ridiculous, that, that's such an expectation on trans women it’s like change our voice. I'm like no, I got a good ol' tranny voice. A little a little raspy Joan Rivers, nice going on. I'm fine with that.

Parker

I love it.

Deandra

Little, little whiskey rasp.

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

But I'm never I'm never going to be that girl that's like, oh hi I'm Deandra, like no. Like cause also, that reads that reads fake as fuck. Like these clients, the reason, I've, I've noticed a correlation of providers that I know that do put on a fake persona do not, do not have many, do not create many long-term clients because at the end of the day people want a connection to who you really are.

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

You know, even if it's something that is paid for, or whatever, they just you know, people can smell fake and they don't like it. No one likes it because then that's also going to play in their head being like, well, is she actually enjoying herself? Or is this just part of this whole shenanagin-ary? And? Yeah, I'm not into that. I'm not into that. Sorry, if you do that. Don't. I promise it'll help your business to not do that.

Parker

Yeah, to each their own. But I agree. Personally, I do.

Deandra

yYeah, to each their own.

Parker

Yeah, the longer I've been in this business, the, the more I've been myself with clients, and it's, it's, it just makes it less exhausting. You know?

Deandra

Oh, so much less exhausting.

Parker

It's so hard to keep up a personality, when instead, you could just show up honestly, and have a good time. And if not, then like, don't see that client again. But.

Deandra

I mean, I'm a naturally funny person. I'm a very humorous person. I just don't really, you know, and I'm like, that is my fucking golden ticket. Do you have any idea how far my personality has gotten me in social situations?

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

And sex work situations? Like people just like, genuineness. They love, people love to laugh? Make your fucking clients laugh, make them feel welcome. Make them feel jovial. Mm. You know?

Parker

Before we totally leave from the HIV positive thing,

Deandra

Right, right.

Parker

What is something that you wish people, like the greater public, would understand about people who are HIV positive?

Deandra

Um, well, I wish people understand you can Google un-transmittable, or undetectable equals un-transmittable and that will bring you to so many fucking sites. You know? That's a campaign, that's currently in a lot of a lot more progressive states. You know? And that it's a thing that isn't just among gay people or trans people, it is literally everywhere actually, the predominant demographic being affected by it right now is African American women between the ages of 19 and 26.

Parker

oh wow.

Deandra

That is the, that is the predominant. And that's that has largely to do, I think with stigma and shame. And also, you know, how black men especially, are kind of held up to these standards of masculinity. And, you know, like, the ultimate taboo is kind of black male homosexuality or queerness. And so, it's like, you know, I think a lot of these people have to, a lot of these men, have to go out of their way to hide things. And then if they're hiding things, they're probably not being very safe because that's, that's largely who, you know, black women are getting it from, is, is bisexual men, and bisexual African American men. And this is not a racist thing that I'm saying, this is just, this is just the demographics. Currently, in this country anyways.

Parker

Right.

Deandra

And also, because, you know, marginalized communities tend to have less access to thorough and, and comprehensive medical care. And it's like, it's, it's poverty, it's racism, it's all the reasons that, that is happening. And that's not, you know, that's not me just throwing words out there and saying things because I've had people kind of take that the wrong way. And I'm like, that's, it's not a judgement. You know?

Parker

Right. Those are just, that's just the information. And, and it does, it's like, the stigma is there, you know, the stigma and the toxic masculinity around like, not, you know, not appearing gay at all.

Deandra

Yeah, which is the thing among I mean, all men really,

Parker

Yeah. Okay, so you are.

Deandra

I am.

Parker

You are also a performer.

Deandra

I am.

Parker

A drag performer. Yeah. So how did you get started doing drag?

Deandra

Well, trans people do drag. Um, I actually got started when I was 17 and I was living in Kentucky of all places.

Parker

Oh, wow.

Deandra

And I Yeah, Bowling Green, Kentucky. So, and back then too, It was a, it was half the size it is now because it's kind of like a suburb of Nashville. It's like an hour north of Nashville. So, it, but back then it was you know, a lot, lot smaller. This was 13 years ago. So, god that's okay. Um, but I started doing it with them and then you know, I kind of, it was, and it was a really great outlet for my femininity. Cause I've always been very feminine, and I always wore you know, face makeup and long hair and all that shit. And I just, it really should have occurred to me a lot sooner in my life that I was trans, but I just was always myself and I knew I wanted to be a girl, but I just didn't really understand what that was. And just kind of, you know, I didn't, didn't really understand ‘til I got into college at about 17. And then I was doing drag, and then I never wanted to get out of the drag, and I was like, okay, so this is a thing. You know? But then I ended up not really transitioning until quite a few years later, because I mostly only knew, you know, hetero identified trans women and they were very toxic to me in the way that they were like, well, you know, you have a lot of facial hair, you shouldn't transition. Or you, you know, you're if you're not going to be with men. What's the point? Because I, I got really pigeonholed, you know, by the gay community trying to tell me oh, you're a gay boy. You're gay boy, you're a gay boy and even, even when I identified as a gay male, whatever the fuck that is, I still was fucking anybody and everybody that I wanted to who also wanted to, you know, and.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

I would date other trans people, and I would date women, and I would date men. And, you know, it just, it just depends on the connection. For me, it's always been that way. So, it's never been an accurate description, but it was something that was really forced on me and I think just, just that toxicity of that, and then also, you know, being told, well, if you're gonna do this, then you know, your body isn't gonna, isn't gonna develop the way you want it to. You're gonna have to get these silicone injections, black market bullshit. I was like, I don't want any of that fucking shit. Don't tell me what I need to do. So then finally around 25 I was like, well, fuck it. You know?

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

I'm HIV positive. That's already the fucking thing. Nobody wants what the fuck, I'm just gonna do, I'm just gonna live my life. I don't really give a fuck and it's been monumentally better since then. But I've been a drag performer since 17. I love to perform. I think it's just, it's just a really fun way to connect with people and I really, it's a very self-serving thing that I do. You know, I'm like, I love to provide a good time and I love to, you know, you can tell when I'm on stage, I'm having an absolute fucking blast, which makes people there have an absolute fucking blast. Because there's just nothing worse than a haughty stuck-up ass drag queen. You're like, sir, you need to calm the fuck down. Like you are not Beyonce, you are literally lip synching to a song facilitating the sales of alcohol. Let's put this in perspective.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

And not all the drag performers are sirs outside of drag. You know, there's, there's a lot of, there's, there's a lot of gender variance within drag. And so, you know, but the predominantly it is gay, gay men.

Parker

Right. Well are, yeah. And arguably, we all do drag because gender is just a performance, but.

Deandra

Gender is performative.

Parker

Yeah. But yeah, so. And I also think that, that plays into what we were talking about earlier, where it's like, you have, have to show up authentically on the stage and like, have fun, just like, show up and have fun in your sessions with clients in order to, like, have fun and be entertaining and be with a person. You know?

Deandra

Well, you know, there's, there's this moment I hit on stage when I'm doing a song that I really love. And, you know, that I'm excited to be doing and like, I can't help but just like smile, like a fucking idiot just grinning throughout the whole thing and you know, you can really, and I feel it, like, and I feel that I'm projecting that joy and that energy and people always tell me. You know? I'm like, I'm not the best performer. I'm not a great dancer. Dadada but people fucking love me because, you know, they're like, they're like, girl, I can tell you're having a blast and you are sharing that and that's great. And that you know, I love that and that's the same thing with sex work. I'm like, you know, if these men are coming to see me, I'm gonna make it a memorable time, I'm gonna make them one just strictly for retention purposes.

Parker

Right.

Deandra

But also, because that's, if I'm enjoying myself and I'm you know, and facilitating that experience for this person. Then I want it to be a good experience for both of us and the only way to do that is to be very genuine about you know, your boundaries and stuff, but also just very candid and you know, be nice be fucking nice to your clients. Like Jesus Christ unless they're, unless they are specifically into like domination, or humiliation. Something of that form, from, from, the the door opening till they leave. Sometimes that happens, but I find it's very rare because part of aftercare is being nice and,

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

And sweet and caring and letting these people know that. Yeah, you were you were my sub slut, fucking maggot piece of shit 20 minutes ago, but we're cool. And you're a very nice human being pat on the head. You know?

Parker

Yeah, it's so key. It's so important. Okay, so back to performing. What is your favorite part of performing?

Deandra

I like to make the costumes. I make all my own costumes.

Parker

Do you really?

Deandra

I'm very good at it. Yes, I do. I'm very good at it. I make really great things and it's just, it's, it's I spend more, more money on it than I will ever make from it. But it's again, it's something I do that is very self-serving. It's something that I do purely for my enjoyment if there was not a single person in the audience, I would still do it.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

You know? if they didn't if they didn't feel the song, I didn't get tipped a dollar. I don't give a fuck. I've already spent the money on the look and the wig and everything. Yeah, I just that's that's never happened to me where I've ever had a profit because I mean, I, I also am just, you've met me in person, you know, I'm like, I'm pretty. I'm pretty outgoing and people like that, you know? And I'm you know? My drag persona is very ridiculous. Anyways, like, I'm just there to have a good time and I'm there to make you have a good time. We're just gonna throw all the pretense to the wind. You know, as, as what that guy says. In fucking Steel Magnolias, [accent] an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.

Parker

Oh my god, you do that accent so well.

Deandra

I lived in Louisiana. I do a lot of accents. Actually.

Parker

You don't say?

Deandra

Yeah.

Parker

I feel like I feel like I've experienced a few with you.

Deandra

[accent] Hello, my friend. My friend. How are you doing today? So good to be speaking with you on the pod kist.

Parker

I recall a Russian accent perhaps.

Deandra

Yeah, that well, that was kind of it. it's going a little Swedish these days. I don't know what's going on.

Parker

Yeah. Yeah.

Deandra

And she's, she's, she's, got she's she changes.

Parker

Yeah, she worldly.

Deandra

I don't know.

Parker

She's worldly.

Deandra

Yeah. I don't know. You know, I just I just make up voices because I'm weird. I just make up voices all the time because I'm I just, I just do, it's just something I've always done. I don't know.

Parker

Yeah. This is why we get along.

Deandra

Yeah. I mean, I enjoy I thoroughly enjoy being a weirdo. I never I think I'm very lucky in the sense that even though a lot of my family was very aware that I was weird and would tell me and people in my life and school and society would always say girl, you are so fucking weird. Why are you like this? Why can't you just be normal? And it's just that has just never bothered me. I guess I just I was born without that cell.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

Because as much as it, as much as the world, and my life has tried to hammer it into my head that I should have some sort of shame or try to fit in. That's just never been a part of who I am. I've been very fortunate that I didn't have that because I know some people are not able to not form complexes about that sort of thing, not fitting in or not being, quote unquote, normal. Like fuck that. Look, we're you know, my mom asked me the other day, she was like, she's like, so you're like, 30. You got a house now? Are you like finally turning normal? And I was like, no, no, I'm not. No. And she's like, why? I'm like, look what normal fucking got us. Look what normal has gotten us in this fucking world. Fuck that.

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

We got a genocidal madman and murderous fucking cops just running around all willy-nilly.

Parker

Mm hmm.

Deandra

You know, we have no comprehensive medical, anything, all of our fucking money and budget goes to killing other people in other countries and just basically being world fucking terrorists. Like, look what normal has gotten us. Fuck your normal.

Parker

I agree.

Deandra

I don't want that. And,

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

And that's how I feel about the pandemic tears. Like I want things to go back to normal. I'm like, I don't I want accessibility to activities that, I enjoy that aspect. I would like to come back but I don't want it to be normal. Because look what the fuck normal has gotten us. It's we live in a very sick society, I don't want things to go back to normal and I don't like that word.

Parker

No, no, me either. That actually is a perfect transition to the next question I have for you, which is,

Deandra

I'm very good at transitioning.

Parker

How have you channeled your like vivacious personality? You're a very social, being and performing energy during the pandemic, like what have you? What have you been doing?

Deandra

Well, I post a lot of I just post a lot of shit on Instagram. And, and also like, like I said, it's something I do for myself. So, like, I straight up dude, I straight up just entertain myself in my living room and I'll have a couple drinks. Put on some music. I'm not getting into, into the full geesh but absolutely performing for the fucking walls. You know?

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

Or for my dog,

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

You know? Yeah, I don't know. But ways I've been channeling it. I mean, it's also a creative outlet for me. So, I've, I've been channeling a lot of during the pandemic, when things especially weren't accessible. I did a couple online shows not, not nearly the same. I don't really enjoy that. I like to feel I like the energy exchange of a live show.

Parker

Same.

Deandra

But you know, I've been working on my house a lot and so I've kind of been channeling my creativity into making this this house the home that I want it to be.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

You know, the eccentric little, little pocket of earth that I get to have in this life. So.

Parker

I love that. And then how did how did the pandemic change how you engage in sex work over the last year?

Deandra

Um, well, I didn't get the unemployment in the, in the beginning the pandemic unemployment. I didn't get that until almost August.

Parker

Oh wow.

Deandra

So that entire time that entire time, and, and you know, Onlyfans got flooded by a bunch of people that probably shouldn't be on OnlyFans, let's just be serious like thinking it's an easy thing. And it's not.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

You know? But it did get flooded. So, I just I had to keep seeing people, so nothing really, really changed for me, especially because I didn't know at the time, but my partner who was barely you know, working at all, I had to cover her ass so much. And it turns out, you know, she had like, a family trust fund that she could have dipped into at any point, and help keep me safe from this pandemic, but she just didn't see it fit to be honest about that. The entire time we were together, she basically lied about her life. You know, I was like.

Parker

Yep.

Deandra

Fuck this shit. You're not even who I thought you were, and you could have just been honest, and it would have been fine.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

I don't, I don't have any qualms about people having wealth or access to familial wealth. However, I do expect, especially if you're a white person with access to familial wealth, I do expect redistribution and stuff and that's just not something that she was ever going to do. You know? She's the money hoarder and I don't agree with that at all. I don't, I don't, I don't understand that kind of lifestyle. Fuck if, you know, when it when it comes to anybody, especially I care about, you know, bitch, if, if I only got $50 to my name, we got $50. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's just how I've always been because money doesn't, it comes it goes, it doesn't actually mean a lot to me. And I've never really had a lot of it in my life anyways and, you know, it used to stress me out. I used to have the worst kind of panic attacks and anxiety around money and then, you know, around 25 getting on hormone therapy really helped curb that anxiety right out of my life. It really fixed a lot of it. I think testosterone was like feeding my mania or something but like, now that that's, that's changed. You know? I'm a lot more even keel and I just don't give a fuck, I had to give that up. I'm like, you know, I'm a trans sex worker. I was broke before, I'm gonna be broke again. It's gonna happen. I'm not gonna fucking stress about it. I'll be okay. You know?

Parker

I think that's a, an incredible place to be. The fear of financial insecurity is so, I feel like I mean, it's we live in a capitalist society. We're taught to be afraid of being poor. There's,

Deandra

We are living in a capitalist society full of manufactured scarcity.

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

We are that is they purposely traumatize us with that?

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

Okay. So, I, that was one of the most liberating things I could ever do. And at 25 I ended up moving into an off-grid community, where I never needed money and I spent a year there living in a tent, you know, and it was amazing that really, that really kicked whatever, whatever last that I had, because I was like, Wait, there's fresh water just coming out of the ground here and it's crystalline fuckin beautiful spring water that I get to bathe in and nourish my body with and,

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

it's living and it's beautiful. And there's food just coming out of the fucking ground because we garden and I don't actually have any, you know, we have solar for the things that I need. And yeah, I would go into the city and occasionally work but you know that money I mean, 50 bucks would last me a fucking month. You know?

Parker

Right.

Deandra

In terms of what I need in cigarettes and I love a cocktail. Let's be frank about that.

Parker

And I love that you touch on the fact that it's, it's a trauma response that we have to like financial insecurity because I find that it's been such an important journey for me personally to recognize that like I have these trauma responses and that I need to ground before I can really make a rational decision moving forward around money in particular.

Deandra

When you stop letting money have so much control over you, it's kind of amazing how much easier it is to manage it. You know, like I don't my bank account gets down under a thousand I consider that broke because I've got insurance. So that money's already spoken for. You know? Like I've got, I've got bills, but you know, there's ,there's, there's been times where I'm like okay, well the bills gonna be late and once you can get in that mindset that, that fuckin due date literally just is nothing. You can usually just pay a fee pay, the fucking fee when you have the money. Don't worry about it. Like don't let yourself stress. Like you know? People really get very stressed out and I'm like, yeah, if you're if you're eight months behind and you're about to be turned off, it's time to stress about that girl, let's be real.

Parker

Right, right.

Deandra

but you know, if you can, if you can let yourself be okay with like, oh, this electric bills gonna be late. Well, you've been on time You know, for as long as you've had the account, don't fucking worry about it, don't pay it right now. Pay half of it, pay a little what you can whatever, work out a deal with the company, whatever you got to do to keep yourself out of that. Well, the date has come and gone and now I'm like panicking. And that is such a thing that I see people experience and it destroys relationships and friendships, makes roommate situations unbearable.

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

You know, and every, every bad roommate situation I've ever had, had a huge financial component to it.

Parker

Yep.

Deandra

Whereas, where either the person who's on the lease and on all the utility bills, can't handle that stress. And I'm like, I would be the perfect person to have on lease and utility bills. I'm like, oh, okay. Well, you owe this is your portion. Oh, you can't pay it right now. Okay, cool. well, either if I have it I'll cover it, or, you know, whatever. I just don't worry about things like that and it took a very long time to deprogram from that. But I think it's one of the most important things and almost, almost all the sex workers I know, who are full service, have this kind of relationship with, with money now.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

Where it's not this thing that because, you know, I just, I mean, when this is your, when this is your bread winning game. You know, there's, there's so many other things that are stressful and exhausting about it, that money is not really the thing that you want to get, you're not going to get as bent out of shape over it.

Parker

Yeah. I think too any gig worker or like entrepreneur who has a business like that, where you're going from event to event, once you've done a year or two of that it you begin to have that relationship with money, where

Deandra

Yeah, where you're like, sometimes it's not going to be there. It's an ebb and flow situation.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

Sometimes, you know, sometimes you'll be rolling in it.

Parker

Yes. And just because I don't have anything on the books right now, doesn't mean there won't be something on the books soon.

Deandra

Right. I mean, I, I don't have anything on the books right now and I'm just not sure, I'm not worried about it.

Parker

No, you can't, it's not worth it.

Deandra

I mean, you know, I've got, I've got money in my OnlyFans, I treat like a savings account. I don't, I don't pull money out of there unless I absolutely have to. And I haven't pulled any money out of there in almost six months. It's just sitting there. You know, and I've got, I got a few I got investment in like Dogecoin and some other things like that, you know?

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

So, I definitely think put your money to work for you if you can, in some way, you know, even a certificate of deposit, simplest form of investing.

Parker

Mm hmm.

Deandra

You know, and that's just building interest on what you're, it's a high interest yield account, basically, you know, and it's like, you as you get older, you got a real you know, you start to, you hit 30 and you're like, oh, I gotta it's more than just bringing money in. I've actually got to put my money to work for me when I'm not working.

Parker

Yes.

Deandra

You know? And I don't think, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to go back to working for someone else. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to do it.

Parker

Oh, I don't know if I could either.

Deandra

I mean, I think eventually I do plan to retire or semi retire from sex work. And I think the two fields that I'm looking at right now, well, there's three that are kind of in the lineup, either nursing, um, which would be cool. Or under, undertaking, I would love to be in mortuary sciences. I used to do when I was a cosmetologist, which I'm still a licensed cosmetologist, when I was working full time I actually owned a business in Nashville, where I would go in as a contractor, and rebuild people's faces and do the hair and makeup for the, for the funerals, and it just never bothered me except when they fucking move. Because sometimes they just, they just sit right up, or they move if they're freshly dead. It takes actually 14 hours or more for your nervous system to fully die. So.

Parker

oh wow.

Deandra

You know? They, they twitch and they burp and they fart. And sometimes, sometimes they'll release gas over the vocal cords. So, you'll hear [mmrrrr]? And you're like oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I am here alone. It is late at night. No. You better stay the fuck there.

Parker

You shut the fuck up. Roger you shut the fuck up. Oh my god, that's terrifying.

Deandra

But that doesn't bother, and I think we need queer and trans people in in that business specifically because so many people, there are, their autonomy of how they represented themselves gets taken away because their family has control or the funeral director doesn't know how to how to style them properly according to their, their gender identity or how they live. You know? They're very binary type system and it's I think that's very tragic. I've been to, I've had a few friends who've passed who you know their families put them in a, shaved their head and put them in a fucking suit, post humous and I'm like, that's fucked up. That's fucked up. One of my friends’ families had her breast implants removed for the funeral and I was like, that is fucked up and I told her mom that too. I was like, you are fucked up for that. You are fucked up for that.

Parker

Oh that's awful.

Deandra

She's like, I don't even know why you're here, you were told not to come and I was like, I'm gonna say goodbye to my bitch is why the fuck I'm here honey. So don't, don't start with me think I won't fucking knock you out at this funeral at your own child's funeral. I fucking will because you obviously don't care that much, which, in hindsight was probably very harsh but at the time, bitch needed to hear it like fucking, my friend's dead name is Rogers, fucking had him in a goddamn suit.

Parker

Oh my god.

Deandra

You know what, it's not him, it's her. Her name is Christina

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

She is not, she is not that okay. She's not that, so that, that, that is one of the reasons I really want to get into that. Or also because I do a lot of like self-cosmetic work I do you know my own PRP injections in my face and scalp you know build collagen fillers. It's a PRP is a natural filler, platelet rich plasma, so I thought maybe that is something I could get into the. You know? like, like a filler tech or, you know, and laser tech and something like that, that way I could offer low prices to other girls who are transitioning to you know, to help facilitate that process because it's, it's such a ridiculous markup that these that these places charge and they don't treat trans people very kindly at all. You know, ideal image? I mean, I walked in no makeup whatever but clearly tits, it's it was Louisiana, is 103 degrees out, I'm wearing like a little tiny spaghetti strap boobs are out, tiny little shorts. I look like a chick.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

I look like a woman because I am one. And you know, she goes, okay, well, here you are, sir. And I was like, I did not just pay $600 in advance for treatments to be misgendered you will get me correct. And then, she the receptionist, did it two more times while I was there that day, girl talk about I went home with $400 worth of free Obagi because I was, I was heated I fucking came for them. And that owner was like, we're gonna give you this collection of Obagi as an apology, and I'm like, fuck, yeah, this shit’s expensive. It wasn't $400 worth of Obagi it was like 100 bucks. It was like a cream a toner or whatever. It is really good shit.

Parker

Yep.

Deandra

And I've since used it, but I was like, you're not gonna fuck with me like that? I'm sorry. I refuse to accept that.

Parker

No, and you shouldn't have to.

Deandra

Right. Where are we going with this?

Parker

Well, to my final question before we launch into the rapid-fire, which is since you have a pseudonym today,

Deandra

Yeah.

Parker

Is there anything that you would like to say on air that you wouldn't normally get to?

Deandra

Um, well pseudonym or not I just would like to say, um, sex work is real work. It is not for everybody. Never assume it's easy. It is not. It is something that you really should not get into unless you have a very solid grasp of who and what you are. You know, it's not, it's not something that's quick money. It's not something that is that is really, it's not a career that can be built on an unstable foundation.

Parker

Yes. Oh my God. Say that again.

Deandra

It is not a career that can be built on an unstable foundation. You really have to have, you really have to know yourself and your worth. I don't I I'm not a person that encourages everybody to do it at all.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

Yeah.

Parker

Excellent. All right. We're gonna launch,

Deandra

Rapid-fire

Parker

into the rapid fire. okay so some of these. I've tailored to a couple of these I've tailored to you.

Deandra

Ooh tailoring.

Parker

Are you prepared?

Deandra

I'm Yeah, I'm good. Let's go

Parker

All right. Pancakes or waffles?

Deandra

Pancakes.

Parker

Salty or sweet.

Deandra

Salty.

Parker

Next Gen or Deep Space Nine.

Deandra

Next Gen.

Parker

Yes. 100 percent. Thank you. Favorite.

Deandra

You've seen my tattoo.

Parker

I know, I was, so there's the what do you call those? The?

Deandra

Oh, that's the Star Trek combat just called delta shaped.

Parker

A combat.

Deandra

As a delta. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's, it's, it's combat.

Parker

That's beautiful.

Deandra

Deandra to bridge.

Parker

Deandra to bridge. I love that so much. Um favorite place you've ever been.

Deandra

Japan.

Parker

Oh, when did you go to Japan?

Deandra

I lived there for a year when I was a teenager.

Parker

Deandra she's well-traveled.

Deandra

Yeah, something like that.

Parker

A book from your mandatory reading list.

Deandra

The Neverending Story. A lot of people don't even know it's a book and I highly recommend it. It is a very good book.

Parker

It's better than the movie?

Deandra

The movies like maybe the first three chapters. Michael Ende is the author and the nothing is basically the personification of death and experiencing the nothing. It gets so close to actually putting into words what being dead, the experience of it would actually be like, and it's, it's a really amazing book. It's I mean, it's I don't understand how it's a kid's book. It is a kid's book, but it's, is, it's existential and philosophical as fuck. It's a great read highly recommend.

Parker

Love that.

Deandra

All right.

Parker

All right, complete this sentence for me good sex is.

Deandra

Good sex is mutual and consensual.

Parker

Excellent. What is your secret talent?

Deandra

I don't, I don't know if there's a secret one. I don't, I'm pretty on my sleeve. I don't really have secrets about things. You know? I tend to be, if anybody asked me something, I tend to just be very out the gate honest. I think it's the best way but secret talent. I like to sew.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

Not really a secret though.

Parker

But I didn't know that about you. So that counts

Deandra

Yeah. I love to, I love to sew I'm actually going to be making all the curtains and everything for my house. Will you stop rolling sir [speaking to dog]? What are you doing?

Parker

Jean-Luc.

Deandra

He's like I'm getting in on this fucking podcast. My dog's name is Jean-Luc. The Next Gen of course. Yes. His full name is Jean-Luc Picard to the Starship Enterprise warp nine engage.

Parker

Oh my god.

Deandra

Which if anybody knows me, then giving away my dog's name totally gave away my identity but if they know my dog's name, then they're cool.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

Like they know. They know me well enough to know that what's being said here is not secret.

Parker

Right, absolutely. Also, I've been watching so much Star Trek. I feel like we should just have a watch party at some point.

Deandra

Oh, god yes. And we should, have you seen discovery up?

Parker

I have not seen discovery.

Deandra

Oh, we could do a discovery binge or a Picard binge if you haven't seen Star Trek Picard. It is the tits.

Parker

Okay, what is a song, an artist, or an album that you're currently obsessed with?

Deandra

Um, Song, artist, album?

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

They all, do they all have to be the same person?

Parker

No, you don't have to do either. Any of you, just like one of them.

Deandra

Okay, Song Montero. Little Nas X,

Parker

Oh.

Deandra

Is Montero is fucking great. That is, it's so good. I love that. I love the imagery. I just, it's, it's a sexy song and it's a very good, very good so I'm like little Na X come on sophomore class. I'm into it. So um, that, that's the song I'm currently obsessed with. Also, the classic Cher album that's like her greatest hits from, from the 80s.

Parker

I was gonna say, if you don't say Cher I'm gonna come.

Deandra

And yeah, an artist. I'm obsessed with an artist, I'm obsessed with and will always be obsessed with is Cher. I have her name tattooed on my fucking hand. Cher. I've been to every live concert since I was eight years old to Believe Tour. I am a dyed in the wool Cher fucking fan.

Parker

I love it so much. Yeah, I was waiting for that.

Deandra

Okay, yeah, I don't know why I didn't. I didn't. I don't know why that didn't pop into my head for I don't know.

Parker

Cuz it's just go ahead.

Deandra

Rapid-fire.

Parker

If you had a superpower, what would it be?

Deandra

Telekinesis.

Parker

Ah, so good. And then what is something simple that brings you joy?

Deandra

I love to garden. And when my, when my seeds and everything, seedlings start coming up, like right now I have an entire table in my dining room just covered in like little, little seed starters and when they start popping up, I just like I start singing to them. And,

Parker

Oh.

Deandra

I water them and I'm happy that they're there. And I'm like, hey kids.

Parker

The babes.

Deandra

The babes. Hi, you're so cute. Keep coming, keep coming. Yeah, no, it's that's, that's simple and it provides me a lot of joy.

Parker

Yeah. Oh, that's so great. Well, that is, that is the end of our rapid-fire and brings us to the end of our interview. So, thank you.

Deandra

Thank you for having me.

Parker

Deandra It's been wonderful.

Deandra

Deandra yeah, in the, in the future. Once I've, once I've sort of come out in my sex work life I would love to do a follow up it is it is on the way.

Parker

Yeah.

Deandra

The, the coming out as, as a pos, performer and provider because I just don't care to keep it a secret anymore. Yeah, so when I, when I'm ready for that. I'll let you know.

Parker

Please do. I'd love to have you on again. We can just Kiki some more

Deandra

All right. Well, let me know about that Star Trek binge.

Parker

100 percent. All right. I love you so much.

Deandra

All right, love you too. Bye.

Parker

What a sweet little ending to that interview. There's so much in this interview and I'm really like there's a part of me that's just a little bitter that I can't link Deandra’s stuff like their work accounts to this because they are really fun to follow. And they create some really fantastic content and it's, it's really unfortunate that the stigma around this particular issue is so potent, I guess is the word, that that we have to hide her identity at this point. But like she said at some point she'll come back on when she's ready to reveal all these things and then I just get to post all of the links. So, stay tuned for that. That but, but it just goes to show you like stigma, stigma and shaming people and judging people for things that we don't fully understand is just a terrible way to build a society it's a terrible way to interact with people. Listening, learning, understanding where people are coming from that's, that's where we actually make progress. Wow. Turns out listening is the answer. Right. So, thank you for listening. I'm so grateful you're here. One more time, you can find us at patreon.com/sexy Galaxy pod. We also have a temporary website before I get one up that's got a whole bunch of other links but it's through captivate.fm, which is the website that hosts this podcast. They've done a great job so far. So, if you're looking for a site to host your own, your very own podcast, consider captivate.fm. They didn't pay me to say that, but I really like them and now the time has come for Space Fact. If you're being chased by an adversary in space, it would behoove you to remember that space is a vacuum, and you can't hear anything in a vacuum, and no one can hear you scream. So, save your breath keep running. Nanu nanu motherfuckers.